Feeling indifferent and unmotivated? Lethargic and unfocused? You may be languishing.
So writes sociologist and Emory University professor emeritus Corey Keyes, whose new book, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down, explores why so many of us feel this “sense of low-grade mental weariness,” as he puts it, and suggests ways to transform languishing into flourishing.
“Languishing goes well beyond single-word descriptions of ‘blah’ or ‘meh,’ ” Keyes, 61, told AARP in a recent interview. “It is the absence of some very fundamental or important things that make life worth living or meaningful, or make you feel like you matter in the world.”
Among the symptoms:
• You feel emotionally flattened. It’s hard to muster excitement for upcoming milestones and events.
• Things seem increasingly irrelevant, superficial or boring.
• You regularly experience brain fog (for example, standing in the shower and trying to remember whether you’ve washed your hair).
• You procrastinate on tasks as a why-try-anyway attitude sets in.
• You feel restless, even rootless.
Languishing is not the same as depression, Keyes notes. Depression involves a daily or almost-daily sense of hopelessness or sadness for at least two straight weeks, often accompanied by crying spells, excessive or inadequate sleep and suicidal thoughts. Millions of people are languishing who don’t meet those criteria.
Although languishing is obviously not new, the pandemic intensified those feelings worldwide. In 2021, a New York Times story by organizational psychologist Adam Grant on languishing (“There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing”) became the news site’s most-read story of the year.
“People had significant losses of the things that make their life meaningful, which made it hard to have purpose, belonging, contribution, a sense of acceptance,” Keyes says.
Age can also play a role. Flourishing peaks between ages 60-65, Keyes writes, but starting around 70-75, languishing increases. Reasons can include the loss of mobility, independence and loved ones, accompanied by “ailments and indignities.” Keyes saw this firsthand when a friend reached his 80s. “He was doing so well the first decade of his retirement, and then something shifted,” he says. “He not only started to retreat, he lost his sense of purpose, his sense of personal growth. He thought he was no longer of use. That was the beginning of his spiral into languishing.”
To learn about 5 ways to stop languishing and start flourishing, from AARP, CLICK HERE.
